"So, do you feel any different now that you're married?"
(And for the record, I'm always quite touched at the concern and kindness of everyone who does ask).The proper response to this question is, No. Nothing feels different (thank goodness!) One may also chuckle and make a joke to play down the seriousness of weddings and marriage. A ball and chain metaphor might be handy, complimented by a shrug and a smile.
|shot from my wedding party|
The truth is, yes, it feels different. But it's so much simpler to say No and spare an almost-stranger an explanation of the intimacies of your brand new marriage, a soliloquy on your most personal thoughts and beliefs.
Of course it feels different. Of course your world shifts a little.
Your relationship to your family, and your spouse's, will never quite be the same. You have a different title, even if you didn't take a new name. On official forms you will now tick a new box next to 'relationship status'. Bank accounts may be rearranged.
When you illegally park in front of a store while your partner runs in to grab a carton milk and someone starts yelling at you and you have to explain that 'My husband just ran in for a carton of milk!'
Now there's a new word for him, too.
Of course it feels different.
But when faced with that question, it's so much simpler to say No and come across as a modern woman for whom her marriage and wedding were not the be-all and end-all. The kind of woman who can roll her eyes at the insanity of it all. Who acknowledges the material excess of weddings, the sickening expense of it all. Who is a modern, progressive, feminist, intellectual, eclectic, and non-tradtional person. Who would really leave or take weddings, and might not have married at all, but for the good party.
Because what would everyone think if you said what you really thought?
Yes, it all feels different now. Marriage is the best thing that happened to me, and I loved my wedding.And what kind of woman would that make you?